Clinical Psychologist Assist. Prof. Dr. Billur Örnek has issued a warning to parents about the potential psychological risks associated with trying to instill an overly positive self-image in their children. Dr. Örnek underlines the importance of encouraging children to develop a self-perception grounded in reality, providing recommendations to achieve this balance.
Self-perception, a term embedded in the lexicon of psychology, refers to how individuals view, understand, or identify themselves. This entirely subjective phenomenon is influenced by an individual's intrinsic qualities and characteristics, experiences, interactions with peers and adults, and how they are perceived and treated by those around them. As such, there can be a significant disparity between an individual's self-perception and how others perceive them. Experts caution that while parents may aim to foster a positive self-image in their children, there is a risk that these efforts could inadvertently damage their psychological well- being.
The Impact of Self-Perception on Life Choices
Assist. Prof. Dr. Billur Örnek of Psychology Department at Yeditepe University, provided insights into the importance of self-perception. According to. Örnek, an individual's self-view significantly influences their interactions with others, their self-relationship, and their life decisions. "People who see themselves as socially accepted and likable tend to communicate more effectively and naturally. Conversely, those who doubt their acceptability may shy away from interactions, potentially leading to undeveloped social skills," she explained.
“Self-Perception is Closely Related to the Environment”
Dr. Örnek further noted the strong link between an individual's self-perception and the responses they receive from parents, significant adults, and peers throughout their upbringing. "It's observed that individuals who have achieved great success in their careers often feel insufficient and unsuccessful due to encountering perfectionism from their parents during childhood. This suggests that a person's self-image may deteriorate due to negative feedback from parents, leading them to view themselves as less capable or inferior than they truly are. In therapy, we focus on helping individuals reassess their self-view by considering the realities they present instead of perceptions shaped by others' views."
“Protecting Themselves Might Be the Motive”
Örnek also pointed out that the opposite scenario could occur: "An individual might define themselves with an inflated self-perception, placing themselves above the rules that apply to others. This can arise from being treated as special from a young age or, conversely, from being excessively told they are inadequate, serving as a form of self-protection. In both cases, our therapeutic goal is to bring the individual's self-perception closer to reality, aiming to help them view themselves from a more objective standpoint."
“Don't Drift Away from Reality”
Dr. Örnek highlighted the recent trend among parents to cultivate a "positive self-image" in children and adolescents, noting, "While fostering a positive self-image is desirable, an overly positive self-view that strays too far from reality can ultimately lead to disappointment and alienation. I believe guiding young people to develop a realistic self-image is far healthier. They can shine in their strengths and work on their weaknesses. A false sense of 'perfect self-image' can make a child or adolescent vulnerable to psychological disorders, rather than stronger."
“Self-Recognition Begins with Seeing Ourselves Through Others”
Örnek shared advice on creating a healthy self-perception: "From childhood, adults must monitor both their interactions with the child and how significant others communicate with the child. Initially, individuals come to recognize themselves through the eyes of others, making how they are treated during developmental stages vitally important. It's not about fostering a false sense of perfection or ignoring their strengths; it's about openly discussing their strong points and areas for improvement. For instance, a young person may have excellent communication skills but struggle with patience, while another may be patient but struggle to assert themselves. Acknowledging both strengths and areas for growth allows individuals to develop a realistic understanding of themselves, facilitating a smoother transition to a healthy, self-aware, and content adulthood."
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